Funny story..so my AC unit debaucal should not go without insult to injury. After searching for a reliable contractor to do the repairs to my stolen AC unit, tell me why he has stopped returning phone calls, voicemails, texts and emails after taking a check from me for over $700 bucks. Yeh I told you this would be funny. Funny and true unfortunately. I contracted the guy Daniel “Danny” Pruitt to do the repairs to my missing AC unit. So far so good. Credentials check out and after a face to face meeting I was ready to put the whole thing behind me. I go on vacation and after checking in with him several times to see how the work is going he swears that he will get to it despite the few delays. So ok, no problem. I know we had a flood here so I can understand the excuses he gave me regarding his destroyed forklift killing my brand new unit. Then all of a sudden the phone calls stopped. The emails went unreturned along with the voicemails. Ok, my dumbass for giving him a check in advance of the work being completed. I honestly just wanted to get the repairs done so I could forget about the whole incident in time for me to enjoy my vacation. Little did I know that that vacation would be wrought with worry and headache once I realized that he would not do the repairs and try to disappear into thin air. His dumbass though for leaving me with all his contact information. So now im in the process of suing him…and his wife in small claims court for the lost dinero. ARRRRGGGhHHH!! WHY? Its not like im money bags over here trying to remodel my kitchen or upgrade my existiing HVAC system. (Not that stealing from anyone in that situation is ok) and am sitting on enough money for something like the $700 to go unnoticied. My AC WAS STOLEN FOR HEAVENS SAKE. There is something truly tragic about someone who will come to your house, look you and your kids in the eye and then run off with your money for an incident in which you are already victim. Did I mention his name is DANNY PRUITT in DAWSONVILLE, GA with “Danny’s Home Services”? He is also flagged on the GA board of licensing to “Cease and Desist” for operating without a license which obviously he decided against.
http://www.sos.ga.gov/plb/construct/Cease_Desist.htm
His website is listed below so be forewarned…..
http://www.contractspot.com/contractor/Dannys_Home_Services/2/1158
Anyway, im a move on kinda gal -after I vent that is- so I did have the repairs made eventually and am trying to just move on to whatever the next catastrophe will be => But suffice it to say that if I am unable to collect my money after taking his sorry ass to court he will wish it was another female he had scammed…Wish me luck! =>
So i had a girlfriend ask me the other day how exactly to “date cross culturally” ……….Ummm okay good question. I think what she ment is where to find them. I honestly dont know. I dont really have a tracker for finding all things with an accent, and i certainly didnt date just people with accents so im not sure. I personally believe for me its about the vibe i kind of put out and the places I go. I always encourage people to socialize outside your comfort zone. If you usually go to that same club spinning the same beats where you know everyone, try something different. Go to a book reading, take up a dance class, do some traveling, or go to that new spot hosting the wine tasting. If i go to a club where i know the people will be diverse. I also encourage people to go alone or with just one friend. I also encourage people to go out by themselves. I know..TERROR the thought of going by yourself, but having a gaggle of girls or dudes around you is fun and can be a bit of a saftey net, but also makes you less approachable. I think when people see you out by yourself and still having a good time it sends an air of confidence…best fragrance around. Plus as a girl, when im surrounded by my girlfriends i tend to emit this F*** off vibe, and I dont check out the people around me. If im going out to meet people i go with just one wingwoman or have them meet me there. Its not a science just a careful observation from this diligent people watcher. Also if someone approaches you who doesnt meet your 6′3” expectation give them a sec before you blow them off. They may not be the one but you never know if his friend might be….How shameless!! => Whatever, maybe his friend isnt either but he may be the one to tell you about that new wine tasting or that cool open mic down the street. When u meet discover new people and go new places you find more opportunities to meet people you might not have otherwise. Dating is not a spectator sport so the more you get out there the better your chances. Besides the goal is to HAVE FUN. Its when your having fun with few expectations that someone interesting does come along. As a married gal i always introduce the guy who comes up to me to one of my single friends…you just never know. In addition to having fun be open. Take a deep breath, put on those heels and have an open heart to what the day/night might have in store. I know it sounds corny but if I were a guy, I would much rather approach that chic with the open smile than the one holed up in a corner surrounded by her entourage. So in short:
1. Do something different
2. Do it with a smaller entourage
3. Be open to those who approach (within reason)
and 4. . You already know you look good so just HAVE FUN!
Ok guys and dolls, I got nothing new today related to cross cultural relationships, but wanted to keep posting lest i get lackadaisical so lets talk about the most interesting happening in my life – My missing AC unit. Yes things have gotten so shitty in Atlanta that someone actually stole the AC unit from one of my rental properties..I mean serious? Seriously?
So im just chatting with my renter talking about the usual keys, rent, etc when he mentions the fact that the upstairs portion of the house no longer cools down. So im like hmmm this cannot be good. Like i dont have enough fires to put out. Anyway after investigating several causes it comes to my renters attention that one of the outside units is missing.. Im not an HVAC specialist but im guessing that you would need on to actually produce the cold air or whatever the hell it does. I honestly was not even that angry. I just wanted to resolve the situation and find out how much it was going to set me back, and although i dont now much about heating and cooling systems i know they are not cheap. My whole thing is what the hell about the AC unit could be so valuable that would make it worth taking? Not to jinx myself but it would almost be better to dig up the tree in the font yard and sell it for scrapwood as that would probably have more monetary value.
So today i spent some time calling around to find out wht the replacement costs would be including installation, and ok now im pissed…to the tune of $3,500. What the fuck!!!!!!!!!!! The guy i spoke with told me that they get stolen for the copper pipes. I wish I had known, cos i would gladly have gone down to home depot and bought some nice, new sparkling pipes and laid them in the front yard. Its so bad that they actually have security “cages” to keep the units from getting stolen. What the hell? *SIGH* Oh well. In trying to find the silver lining I guess I should be happy that my renter wasnt fased by the theft, or that the desperate people with a truck that stole the damn thing didnt load up my renters VW bug too. I guess its a benefit that we’re going into fall now so the “missing” AC unit wont be missed that much…Yet. Not only do i have to dig up a new AC unit i am now paying for a fence to be installed around the property to keep from having repeat offense, which will set me back yet another couple of I-dont-even-wanna-know thousand. *sigh* what a mission. Im just trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents and it seems like everytime i get to a point where I think im cool, there is always another financial fire to put out
I heard on the radio today of a lady who is giving seminars to women on how to date interracially/cross-culturally. I feel like I could right a book on it. It surprises me though that grown people actually need a seminar on this..Seriously? I guess growing up I was blessed to live in a household were I learned to interact with a person as a person and not based on their religion, skin color, number of tattoos or any of other stuff. Yes some things aesthetically can be deal breakers-like horns sprouting from your forehead, but aside from this why would you limit yourself, in this already tightening pool of eligble candidates, even further by electing to date only XY and Z? What does the color of someone’s skin have to do with how good a person is? I know its an old argument, but really when you have people that need a seminar on how to date outside of their race, apparently the argument still lives. I guess its a good thing that resources like the seminar are available for people who feel they really need them, but you just never know what kind of package Mr or Mrs Right is going to show up in. I think its totally normal to have a preference as far as looks go, everyone does, but its something completely different to pre-judge and decide u dont like the cake cos its covered in white icing instead of chocolate meanwhile you’ve never even eaten cake before. (no the white and chocolate icing are not metaphors =>) For me the best looks are a kind heart, an open smile and stunning intellect. If that comes in a package of only 5′7″ instead of 6′4″ so be it. This world is so FULL of eligible singles, that if you are single, not by choice, at some point you have to start looking interally to see if there is something that you could be doing to sabbatoge yourself. -Maybe im reaching but, again happiness is a choice, and if you choose to only date X culture or Y race then you are choosing your way out of potential happiness. Personally I would rather deal with the drama of people staring at me and my multicultural family on the street than that of being educated, independent and lonely.
We have been hella’ busy lately. Like “my hair is on fire” busy. This last week was just beyond crazy. The normal day for me constists of a 9-5 job working for bosses who are complete nimrods, they hurrying to daycare trying to beat the 6p is late-or-u-die deadline, then home to be a creative su-chef for kids who’d rather eat hotdogs, a rompus bath for two, then when the kids are asleep the laundry begs to be folded, kitchen cleanup duty then an 11pm bedtime which I ususally miss. I spend the entire day dreaming of the moment i can get back in bed. Monday was a doctors appointment. Tueday tango lessons for me. Wednesday soccer game with hubby (GO AC MILAN!!), Thursday second tango lesson, and Friday was blissfully “free” so to speak.” Saturday birthday party of kids’ friend (AHHHH), and Sunday a trip to the lake for kids…Trust me this was totally for the kids because for me, driving 2hrs for murky water on imported sand with a dozen other screaming kids with the prospect of fire ants is not my idea of a Sunday well spent. Despite the crazy, hectic, unending noise of my week it was one of the best. Because I wasnt home as much in the evenings on the Friday,Saturday and Sunday when I was home I really took the time to enjoy the kids. Honestly I had no choice cos i missed them so much. Also due to the fact that I saw my husband as a passing visitor this week, we lapped up every moment we had together so much so that the AC Milan game actually became something romatic. During the times when he is off pursing his own hobbies, I kind of felt like berating him because he wasnt home with me and the kids; however, since making the decision to take up and pursue my own new hobbies -Tango lessons- im glad to see him off. When he leaves i treasure the quiet I have to kick back and smoke a hookah bowl. I think that happiness is what you make of your life. You have the choice to make YOURSELF happy without depending on someone else to make you happy. When I made this choice to start doing my own thing outside of this marriage it made appreciate my hubby and kids more. It kind of reinforces the idea that truly you have to be your own person, have your own intersts and hobbies outside of the relationship or you start to feel like its ur partner’s job to create that for you. The time away makes me glad to be back. I understand now why my hubby is so cheerful after going skeet shotting or practicing his french ring dog training. Aside from the fact that they are things he likes to do, the release, the space away probably makes him happy to be home. Im guessing he feels fulfilled and therefore chooses to spread the love. I think i always knew this – well should have sine my mom has told me that before- but putting it into practice after you get into a routine of 3 yrs was something very different. Its a very proactive thing to continually keep things new and fresh, but not impossible. There is so much out there to do, just because you are married with kids doesnt mean I cant enjoy some of it. For instance i recently went on a trip for work to Chicago. I decided to stay over the weekend to spend time with some girlfriends. We had so much fun. Went clubbing, drank practically everyday, met new people and just did the girl thing. After all that I was dying to get back to my mundame crazy life. Especially the clubbing. It exhausts me to think about being single again, sorting out the rif-raff from the decent guys. I had great time, but the absence truly make my heart grow fonder for those things of a lasting quality in my life. I am fortunate to have a guy that understands this. He encourages me to get into different things, without being pushy. Is this because he had greater world view? Is it because his age gives him the experience a 20yr old would not have? Im not sure, but if I had to guess I would say both. He does have a different view of the world given his unique upbringing and previous experience. As previous posts, I think happiness is a choice and im fortuate to have chosen well…so far =>
One thing my hubby and I have struggled with is who gets to wear the pants and who is the most right. With all my relationships prior to my hubby i always kind of ran things. I was smarter, better traveled, and more mature. I dont say this to brag or anything, but moreso to illustrate that things just kinda fell into that pattern where i was doing the training, the planning, and teaching. This was quite comfortable for me because I was always right and more in charge in most areas, and my dad raised me to be that strong woman. I got my first doses of humility with my hubby, having to be the one to apologize, first time on the losing side of an argument or whatever. It was…is tough. It was so new and UNcomfortable that at one point we pretty much became unengaged. I still have growing pains in this area. Especially when i see my american counterparts literally running their husbands. The wife tells them when, where, how far, and what for. While we have a balanced relationship, I think the epiphany came when i realized that those guys I was dating before were boys, and my husband is a man. I know CORNY right! but corny as it sounds its so totally true. Listen, If I say that i want a man than i have to let my guy be a man. How can I expect to have a man partner with me in my life, when i treat him like a boy? There is a difference between knowing what you what you want, and then being able to keep it. If i truly want to have a strong independent man be a contributor to the household, then i have to be able to step back and let him take that role. If i want a strong man, but am not able to do and sacrifice what it takes to keep that man, aka my own pride, then whats the point? If im constantly berrating him, overriding him, and undercutting him how is he ever expected to feel and act like a man? Ok so this is not to say that i just sit back and play Suzie-homemaker, but i do have to support him, and step back and let him take the reins from me, as uncomfortable and awkward as that may be. This also comes with a huge caveat. You have to choose well. If you get a guy that is incapable of making the decisions that make him a man to begin with than you will come up short regardless. If i had a husband who never picked up the kids, didnt take the inititive to cook dinner, fix the house, or whatever then i am forced to take the lead. In this case you know u have not married a guy with man-potential to begin with, and one certainly not capable of taking that lead role. I know being married or in a committed relationship takes work, and sometimes those initiative things have to be learned, but there are just some things that should be a given. For example if we both work and i get home later than he, it should be a given that he starts meal planning or kids baths rather then look at me when I walk through the door and say “Babe whats for dinner” I mean seriously? Are u for real? I just worked 9 hours same as you, and brought home your dry cleaning! and im supposed to slave over a hot stove while u kick back and have been kicking back since u got home? Ok extreme example, but my point is knowing what you want IS totally different than maintaining it, and if you say u want a “real man” but dont know how to be a “real woman” then u my need to re assess what it is you really want and get only what you can handle.
So during my fender bender, i tried calling my hubby and for the three hours that i spent on the side of the road he was a no show. Not only did he not come to help with the car, but i couldnt even get him on the phone. I called like a stalker, and left 2 voicemails, but nothing. By the time I finally did hear from him i was already on my way home. Ok so needless to say i was not pleased. This was the second time that week that he was in the wrong for something. I should preface this by saying he is rarely on the wrong or losing side of an argument, and I dont think his Russian self knows how to handle it. I dont care about being wrong or right, I care about being happy. I would rather be wrong and live a happy life, than be right and lonely, and unhappy. After he pressed me about the details of the accident I let him have it. Not only for not calling back when I needed him, but for giving me shit all the time about not answering my phone, and yet he goes and does the same thing at the worst possible moment. I understand that his phone was on vibrate, but when your wife is out late its a good idea to keep the phone handy in case of emergencies. Especially when you have kids, being out of touch is not an option. So now is the day after, and he’s kinda crabby, like I did something wrong. I think, as a strong male head, and russian at that, he is stuggling with the fact that he is not always right. I think it erks him having someone his junior call him out on it. I have two options: ride him until he makes amends, or just let it go. Because im of the Be-happy school im going with option #2. I know he knows he was wrong, and he has apologized for it several times, so while his pooh-poohing needs some work, its not worth it for me to have the balance of our relationship be upset for something like this. After all i was not hurt and the other gals insurance will cover the damges. So I think we as women have two options: I can let it go and be happy or I can point my finger in his face for the next three days and be right . I personally am going with happy.
June 26th,2009
The Sour | tags:
russian |
65 Comments
I should have titled this blog site “Rants on the road”. Im sooooooooo f*!@ ‘n PISSED!!!!! On one of the few “girls nite out” nights that i had tonight i get side swiped. Thank God it was nothing serious, but some (insert another bad word) driver decided she didnt need to look before changing lanes, and so my close-to-pristine Mazda has a huge gash on the driver’s side!!! And she’s worried about getting home soon SOOO pissed. She simply veered over into my lane and there was the end of my night. What the F’ ever happened to blinkers? Or hey this is a good one- checking ur damn blind spot? Call me old fashioned but even when I know there is no one in my way I still check. Not only did the cops take an hour to get there I couldnt get my husband on the phone for two hours. Its freaking 11pm!! Its not the middle of the night. On top of that the cops wanted to charge me $55 to have it towed. I dont know about u but in this recession thats my gas and lunch money. .for a month My hubby ALWAYS gives me shit about not getting me on the phone, and on the night i truly, really need him he is AWOL. Ironic no? Im so mad i dont even think this hookah bowl is going to make me feel better. Earlier today i stopped at a red on a two lane, right turn. Im getting honked cos im not going through the red. Hey people I read MY drivers manual and I clearly remember the part about NO TURNING ON RED!!! FUCK i hate atlanta drivers. When over 80% of our college graduates in the area site traffic as the reason they dont stay in Atlanta there’s a problem. Okay so im glad no one was seriously hurt (ok maybe the hookah is helping) except my car and the rest of my evening, but honestly this could have totally been avoided, i guess like 90% of all accidents..Man i hate Atlanta drivers……
I have a house i rent, its not a business, but rather a way to not have to pay two mortgages on my piddly (is that how you spell that?) salary. So in the process of looking for new renters, my current tenants decided to get an attitude. I told them on Tuesday that i had a showing scheduled for Thurdsay, so on Thursday I show up and they are asleep in the bedroom, so i couldnt show the whole house. 10 minutes later i get a text from them complaining about how “discourteous” I was that I didnt remind them about the showing. My feeling is this - Its not my job to pencil in the appointments in your agenda, I gave them several days notice for a reason. On top of that, given the fact that I waived their last month’s late fee, forgave them showing up 30 min late to our previous exchange, and let slide the fact that I had to find out from 3rd party sources that they were moving, I feel like I have been more than courteous in this relationship. So for them to even hint at me being less than courteous, really chaps my hide. They are young, so I understand they have few more roads to cross, but that didnt stop me from letting them have it. I would have texted them back but there werent enough letters in the alphabet that would have conveyed everything I did in that 5 minute phone call….Besides whats up with all the texting? Yes its great for in and out matters, but i feel- and maybe my age is showing- that a 3 min phone call gets across more than a 5 session text. Just my 30 year old opinion =>
June 19th,2009
Rants |
57 Comments
I think i probably have the world’s greatest husband, but with all that greatness comes the not-so-great things that balance it out. He cooks, cleans the gutters, shops for the all the kids clothes, even their shoes! I dont even know what size they are, he totally takes care of it, but at the same time he’s the most obstinate, stubborn person I’ve ever met- apart from my dad. I dont know if its the 11 year age difference or a cultural thing, but he will invariably do the exact the opposite of what i suggest. I tell him to park on the second level cos its not as crowded, and straight to the first floor he heads. I tell him to book the flight to Canada for $375 but he decides to wait a week and it goes up to $741. Maybe its a guy thing but IT DRIVES ME CRAZY! Of course its not a deal breaker, but it drives me nuts. Even the reverse psychology has stopped working. Its like he absolutely refuses to take helpful instruction even if it costs him and extra $400 bucks. One of these days im going to break out my “I told you so” . Maybe that will annoy him to the point of listening =>
